INTRODUCTION

Have you noticed – our media seems to thrive on drama?

I saw a quote that remarked… ‘Just because some people are hooked on drama – you don’t have to attend the performance’.

In fact, too much of this kind of theater can be hazardous to our health.

THE PROBLEMS

We all have personal ‘stuff’ to consider – ‘Has the Doctor got my test results back yet? Is it serious? Did I make the right investment? What about her job? What about their marriage?’… and so it goes.

This season, we also have a global pandemic, an election, and a bombardment of bad news that repeatedly draws our focus and holds our attention.

We’re living in a fallen world. Political and police confrontations spark painful divisions and have exploded in protest, and social unrest. We may wrestle between desires to get outside and engage – or to lock the doors and hide inside. Hold on. As long as we live – we have hope

“Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the Lord.” Psalm 31:24

So, what can we do with our emotions, in the midst of chaos ?

SOLUTIONS

1. Define the problem. Release ‘global’ worries in prayer. Ask for help to act on personal concerns that are more within our control.

When you notice anxiety, sadness, or anger, write down what’s happening. Include where you are; what you’re doing; what you’re talking or thinking about; who you are with – or if you are alone. Patterns may appear to guide your responses.

2. IF you identify a specific cause of anxiety – take all reasonable steps to prepare, correct, , or to reduce risks. Be realistic. Don’t invest more concern than is earned.
3. Schedule time for tears or worry. This unique strategy can be helpful with repeated or chronic depression and anxiety. It may sound silly – but it works. Let me share a true story:

We’ll call her Jane Doe:

Jane suffered a major head injury. She spent her days alternately screaming, crying, and hitting her head against objects. Unable to walk or talk, she sat, tied into her wheelchair, locked within a disabled body, and mind – unreachable. She was referred for evaluation and possible therapy.

A word-processer was set up. At our first meeting, I asked Jane if she had ever used a computer. Screaming stopped. She stared at the screen – then reached for the keyboard and, with the one hand still under her control, she pecked out this message:

‘Dear Mother, I don’t know where I am. What’s happening? I’m so lonesome I think I will die.’

Thus began two years of cognitive rehabilitation and communication therapy. Head trauma can (for extended periods) make Swiss cheese out of memory. It’s lost as the slices slip in and out of alignment. Misaligned time was repeatedly lost for Jane – and acknowledged with fresh shock and mourning each time it was rediscovered through a window of clarity. The emotional impact was devastating.

Each of our sessions began with Jane screaming and crying for more than half of our time. I prayed for wisdom. Improvement moved at a snail’s pace.

At wits end one day, I guessed (aloud), that given all she had gone through, and the confusion she must have been feeling — perhaps she simply needed to cry.

I reminded Jane that therapy lasted for one hour – and that time belonged to her. She could spend it crying, if that’s what she needed most, or we could work on her goals. It was to be her choice.

Using non-verbal responses, Jane agreed she needed to cry – but maybe not for so much time.

It was ‘official’ – we scheduled crying time – for 10-15 minutes of each session.

To avoid alarming others, Jane visited every office in our ward. We explained our plan.

With prompts Jane learned to limit her scheduled ‘crying time’, to the minutes allowed, or less. I was blessed to see this lady move from being hopeless, helpless, and isolated – to someone who was not constantly ‘out of control’. Cognition and memory improved. Eventually, she was able to communicate in short phrases. We re-discovered and enjoyed her ‘wicked’ sense of humor. She was ultimately able to leave the hospital.

The point of Jane’s story is that control may be enhanced by planning to indulge emotions that feel ‘out of control’.

If you can’t stop yourself from worrying – try making an appointment for it. Reserve 10 – 15 minutes for this purpose and share that time with God. If your feelings flood at other times – remind yourself that you already have an appointment for them, and move on. For the greatest benefit – start this time with prayer. If we ask for God’s will to be done in our hearts, heads, and circumstances – we can’t miss.

4. Avoid saturation of negative media News (including Facebook rants). Find something positive you can engage both mind and body in doing.

5. Look for the ‘good stuff’: Our fabulous brains will scan for input we decide is important to us. In other words, we find what we seek – or – ‘Seek, and ye shall find’. 

CONCLUSION

Before Erma Bombeck died in 1996, she was quoted as saying:

‘When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.

That’s a hope I can share. How about you?

Let’s not allow pandemics, elections, protests, or other worries to rob us of joy. We can love one another through it all.

A Final thought: There are 366 verses in scripture reminding us to not be afraid. That’s enough for one-a-day, with a spare for leap year.

Blessings, Love, and Laughter,

Margaret (Marge)

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