Outside my window NIGHT drapes the world in darkness. The wee hours of morning offer no hint of the light to come. I am awake – still awake. My comfortable bed is transformed – becoming a prison as I toss and turn in a punishing cycle of fatigue and wakefulness.

• Oh, how I wish I could snooze like the baby in our picture.

My heart has taken me through five medical appointments, two E.R. visits, and one hospitalization within the past week and a half. I am now making progress with recovery and, by report, all of my ‘numbers’ are heading in the right direction. Sleep is still hard to find. It seems easy to get ‘stuck’ in shaky, uncomfortable mind-space when physical issues demand attention.

In the pre-dawn chill, I can almost measure the steps as discouragement, depression, and fear approach my mental space. I sense that I could slide right into those emotions. But wait … didn’t I write a book about coping with depression?

I am not Mrs. Super Christian – just a sibling in God’s family. I am so grateful to have His word tell me that He knows our frame … He knows that we are dust, and yet He calls us His special treasure. He’s not expecting heroics. I can freely share my real thoughts, needs, and weakness with my Lord, and trust that He cares. Yes, I wrote my book. Now it’s time to practice what I presented.

FIRST: I will remind myself that I am not alone. My God promised to be with me (even in the doubting, shivering, sleepless, wee hours of the morning).

• “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5)
• “ — and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20)

NEXT: I know this trouble must be temporary – even if it feels permanent. God says He has good plans for me – and this trial just doesn’t fit.

• “ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

THEN: I will remember that trials are often educational – with a beneficial purpose. Strength training of physical muscles relies upon movements against resistance (e.g., trials). We can be encouraged in the strength training of our minds and faith.

• “ In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Peter: 6-7)

AND: I am reminded that God doesn’t waste our pain. Purpose can be found, even in the pit of despair. As Victor Frankl wrote in ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’, we can survive almost anything if we can find meaning in it. Here is one possibility:

• Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any ^[a]trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2^nd Corinthians 1: 3-4)

SO: I can find courage in my trial. As I consider what I have written here – I recognize a few fire-refined golden nuggets:

• I’m not alone. My God is with me, and He has given me friends and family who offer prayers, love, and support. My trouble has drawn them to my aid and increased my awareness.  I have a fresh and deep appreciation for these special souls.
• This issue won’t last forever. It will work for my good … here or hereafter.
• God has plans for me. There is a future and a hope.
• I need not feel ashamed of my weakness or fear. I can be ‘real’ – pouring out, doubts, and feelings to my God. He won’t be shocked or disappointed in me. He already knows I am ‘dust’ and might be ‘blown away’ – when things get rough. Did you know He advised ‘Be Not Afraid’ often enough to read a fresh version of that message in scripture at least every other day for a year?

There is a purpose to the pain.

• I can learn from it. I can search for God’s good purposes (Gold Nuggets).
• I can be strengthened by surviving this problem – and Praise God that I did.

I am NOT helpless:

• I can authentically share the comfort I am given – with others who may be in the heat of trial too.
• Even if all I can do is to hold on – through my tears … that’s a powerful witness of God’s grace and strength. He empowers my grip.

If you are barely hanging on at this midnight hour (as I was) – Congratulations! We offer a perfect display for the strength of our Lord, and the fact that we make it through the trials is witness to His perfection.  I may, or may not find comfort in sleep tonight – but I will take comfort from all listed here. I hope you might too. Thank you for sharing with me.

Blessings, Love and Laughter to you,

Marge

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